I neeeeeed to know!

moron pays 50000$ to find out who Carly Simon is talking about.

This story is number two on Yahoo most sent. Snippet:

Carly Simon Gives Away Who Is ‘So Vain’

Carly Simon will finally reveal who’s so vain to a man with major connections in the media world should he ever decide to break his vow of secrecy.

But Dick Ebersol, chairman of NBC sports and NBC Olympics, said he’ll never tell once Simon divulges to him the subject of her 1972 song “You’re So Vain” after a private performance in about two weeks. Ebersol won the information with a $50,000 bid in a charity auction; he also gets a lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

My first reaction was “who the fuck cares?” I’ve never heard of the singer, the song, or the supposed mystery of who she thinks is vain. As a musical moron, perhaps I’m missing out on some long-running soap opera. Even so, look at how the AP can’t take a joke:

Ebersol said Simon gave him one clue about the man’s identity that she said he could reveal: He has the letter “e” in his name.

That could be any of the chief suspects: actor Warren Beatty, whom Simon dated; Mick Jagger, who sang backup on the song; and her ex-husband, James Taylor.

They actually try to think of people with e’s in their names! Truly the human need to reveal the unknown is revealed as the base instinct it is. There’s no other explanation for why this is being taken seriously. I applaud Simon for exploiting it to the tune of 50000$ minus a sandwich.

4 thoughts on “I neeeeeed to know!”

  1. You know what's always bothered me about that song? How it goes, "You're so vain / I bet you think this song is about you." The song IS about "you." It's called "YOU'RE so vain." WtF?

    By the way, feel free to hang on to my racket, for now anyway.

  2. re henry:
    i think it's because the vain person is supposed to hear the first line and think, ah, that must refer to me, because i am so vain, and then the second line makes that person realize that they just thought about themselves, once again, proving that they are indeed the topic of the song. other people might hear the words "you're so vain" but they won't think of themselves, proving that the song isn't about them.

  3. There's something oddly circular about that line of logic, but it makes sense. Then again if the statement is true no matter who is listening to the song, then it's not about any one person at all. Then again if the song _is_ about one person in particular, then even if they are vain the song _is_ about them!

    [head explodes]

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